When Life Gets Too Hard
by alex's wonderland
Summary: Johnny has got a little sister named Molly. Her life is rough, and gets even rougher when she loses one of her closest friends. How will she cope? Who will she turn to? Please R&R.
1. Intro To Molly Cade

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Outsiders.

Intoduction to the life of Molly Cade:

My name is Molly Cade. I'm two years younger than my brother, Johnny, who is sixteen right now.

I've got a small build, black eyes, and black hair just like him. I think I have potential to be pretty if I took the time to try, but honestly, looks are one of my smallest concerns.

Johnny and I get beaten up pretty bad at home, by our parents who happen to be sloppy drunks. Well, actually, our dad is the one who physically hits us. Our mom just screams and yells at us until we are so confused that we don't even know why she's mad.

I hate our house, which is a total wreck. Sometimes I try to clean it up, but my parents just end up ruining it when they have their drunken fits, in which they throw furniture at each other, or at Johnny and me.

Both Johnny and I struggle in school. We both try really hard, and do our best to help each other, but it doesn't seem to help. I guess we just understand things differently, and book-smarts don't come too easily to us. I'm just one grade below him, since he got held back in the third grade.

Johnny and I are really close, mostly because we're all we've got in our family. Most nights I just end up sleeping in Johnny's room because I'm afraid. I can't say what I'm afraid of though.

I guess I'm just scared of everything. I think Johnny is that way too.

I'm friends with all the members of Johnny's gang, and I hang out with them regularly, but my best friend is Kimy Matthews.Her older brother, Two-Bit, was part of Johnny's gang of friends. Kimy and I are both the same age and we hang out all the time.

She's different from me in a lot of ways though. She is taller than me, and has a bigger body frame all together. She has shoulder length red curly hair, and grey eyes. And she was gorgeous. So many of the guys at our school liked her, and Two-Bit was almost having to beat them away from her with a baseball bat.

He really did have his work cut out for him. She was really a looker, and very friendly to top it off. I'm so glad she's my best friend. She really gets me, ya know?

I don't wear a lot of makeup like Kimy does though. Once, I came over to her house, and she suggested that we put on makeup, do our hair real nice, and go to the dingo for a movie. I had gotten so embarrassed that night, because I didn't know how to use any of the makeup that Kimy had. She basically had to do mine for me, and by then I was so flustered and self-conscious, that we just decided to say in for the night.

I just always kept a tube of Chap Stick in my back pocket for when my lips got chapped, which happened a lot, because most of the time my lips were busted open or cracked from my dad's blows.

I wear my wavy hair longer than hers, and I'm nowhere near as talkative as she is. Kimy cusses a lot, just like the rest of the greasers in our town, but I hardly ever cuss. But that's probably because I hardly ever talk.

Sodapop and Darry Curtis swear that I'm Johnny's shadow, because apparently we're identical in every way except that I'm a girl.

I hardly ever get in fights either. That's another thing that's different about Kimy and me. She's a real good fighter because her brother taught her how, and sometimes, she actually walks around looking for fights. I tell her that that's not a good way to be, but I don't think she minds.

Whenever the gang has a rumble, Kimy and I go over to the Curtis house and wait for them to come home. Our designated job on rumble nights is to help tend to the wounds of the gang. I'd be helping Steve Randall stitch up his cut arm, while Kimy would be slapping Band-Aids all over Ponyboy Curtis's face.

I enjoyed helping them like that, which is what got me started in thinking that I could be a nurse. But I figured that you've got to be smart to be a nurse, and smarts is not something I've got going for me.

Kimy likes a different boy at school every week, but she's always had something special for Dallas Winston. I like Dally alright, and my brother idolizes him, but I just can't see how she likes him. Dally is so hard and cold. I don't see how he could ever love her back.

I can't say that I have a crush on anyone right now. My problems are quite different than the problems of other fourteen year-old girls. They, like Kimy, tend to worry about the way their hair looks, what clothes they're wearing, which boy flirted with them at lunch, and who's going to the Winter Formal dance at school.

I worried about being beaten by my dad, being screamed at and cussed out by my mom, understanding my geometry class at school, and finding a clean t-shirt to wear.

I was different, but I guess that's okay. As long as I have Johnny and Kimy, I'll be alright.


	2. Hunt Some Action

I sighed and threw the blanket off of me. I glanced over to my bedside table and checked the time on my clock, which read 8:12 am.

I sat up and pushed my hair back out of my face. I thought to myself, "Oh my God. It is a Saturday morning! Why did I promise Kimy that I'd watch her track meet today?"

But I got up readily enough anyway. I never broke a promise to Kimy. Plus I didn't mind going to the meet that much, because Johnny was going to watch Pony too. So at least I wouldn't have to sit alone.

Kimy and Pony were pretty close friends too, because they were on the same school track team, and they had a bunch of classes together. They were both really smart.

I walked over to my small, busted up dresser, and rummaged around till I found an orange t-shirt, and a pair of jeans, that I had cut into shorts. I changed clothes, and then went to the dirty bathroom down the hallway to brush my hair and wash my face.

Once I was ready, I went to Johnny's room and sat down on his bed. He was just getting up, and trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He looked over at me and smiled saying, "Alright, give me a minute or two, Molly. I'll be ready to go soon." I nodded and got up saying, "Okay, I'll try and make us some breakfast then."

I walked to the kitchen to see my dad passed out on the couch as usual. I looked at him and the filthy living room with disgust before entering the kitchen and checking the refrigerator. "Oh fantastic," I mumbled to myself, "no eggs, and no milk. Just beer."

I decided that Johnny and I would just have to live without breakfast today, and I made my way out onto the front steps to wait for him. Within a few moments he joined me out in the fresh spring air, and we began our walk to the school's track field.

Along the way, Johnny and I kicked the same coke can back and forth until we lost it, and talked about our plans for the day. "I don't know," Johnny said, "I might go back to Pony's house after the meet, and play some football with the boys, or maybe see a movie...I don't know."

I nodded saying, "Fun. I've got school work to do tonight, so I'm probably not gonna get to do much of anything." Johnny shrugged, and we walked the rest of the way in silence, mostly lost in our own thoughts.

Finally we got to the track field, and we found some seats in the bleachers close to some other greasers from our school. Johnny and I just sat there for a while and waited for stuff to start happening. I had learned over the years that track meets could be extremely boring events, and I never really looked forward to going to them.

Eventually Johnny tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Look there, Pony's race is about to start." I turned and watched the nine or ten boys line up on the track, and I heard a harsh and shrill whistle blow.

The runners took off in a dead run. Everyone seemed to be about tied, but toward the end of the lap I could see Pony breaking away from the group. He was speeding up now and he crossed the finish line in first place. After he had slowed down, he spun around and looked up in the bleachers for us. Finally he saw us, and grinned a huge smile.

Pony's coach brought Pony up to the fist place standing stage and hung his golden medal around his neck. Pony flashed us the grin again, before shaking hands with the third and second place winners, then making his way over to us.

He was still beaming as he sat down next to Johnny, and took off his medal for the both of us to see. I touched it with my forefinger then said, "Oh, it's a real beauty Pony. You earned it. Great run!" "Thanks." Pony said. Johnny said, "Oh yeah, it'll go really good next to your other hundred gold medals!"

Pony snickered and said, "Oh common Johnny, I don't have _that _many." I laughed at Pony's show-off-ism. He's actually pretty funny when he acts proud and sarcastic like that. It reminds me of Soda.

The three sat around for a while, until Pony pointed out that Kimy's race was beginning. We watched as the whistle blew and the line of girls sprinted ahead. After one lap, all of the runners were pretty well spread out, with Kimy in second, behind just one tall blonde girl a few paces in front of her. The race was coming to an end, and Kimy was still just barely behind the one girl in front of her.

Pony, Johnny and I were all yelled and cheering her on as the runners neared the finish line. I thought Kimy was going to make her move and pull ahead to the front of the group, but she didn't. She crossed the finish line just behind the tall blonde girl, then went on to collect her second place silver medal, then make her way up to us in the bleachers.

Even though she hadn't won, she still had a smirk plastered on her face similar to the one that Pony had worn earlier. Kimy flopped down next to me on the sun-warmed bleacher and smiled at all of us.

Pony said, "Nice run, Kimy.", and Johnny and I nodded in agreement. Kimy threw her crazy red hair out of her face and said, "I'm aware. But thank you for noticing." I giggled and said, "Wow, Kimy. You and Pony have the same high-and-mighty attitude after track meets."

Pony nodded in a way that really made him look like Soda, and Johnny said, "Yep, something about running around in a circle makes you guys real confident in yourselves."

Johnny and Pony left to go to the vacant lot and play some football, while they waited for Soda and Steve to get off work so that they could go to a movie with them. Kimy suggested that we walk to the park and hang out for while. I agreed, so we made our way down Main Street and over to the park full of giant shade trees and benches.

For a while we just strolled around, kicking rocks around and talking about school, and summer, and how much fun we were going to have. "This summer is gonna be rockin!" Kimy said, in a savvy happy voice. I nodded enthusiastically and added, "I think so too! We only have a couple weeks of school left, and I'm so excited!"

"So," Kimy asked, "I'm thinking that I'm gonna go downtown with a couple people from school tonight. Ya know, hunt a little action. You wanna come with?" I looked at her sideways and shrugged saying, "Aw, Kimy, I can't tonight. I've got a whole English project due on that book I've been reading. Its gonna take me forever."

Kimy twisted her face up into a disappointed smile and said, "That's okay. But you're gonna miss out. Tonight is gonna be fun."

I shook my head. "Yeah well, I can't afford to not do this stupid project. Mr. Garrison would flip, and then I'd totally be failing English."

Kimy shrugged. "Oh well. We are gonna hunt some real action tonight."

I grinned playfully. "Okay, well you go and hunt all of the action that you want. Just be careful. I'm not gonna be there to save you."

Both of us had a little laugh over this, partly because of my extremely snotty voice when saying it, and partly because it was true. Whenever Kimy was in trouble, and getting in fights or stuff like that, I always managed to get there with the gang just in time to help her out.

But of course, I didn't honestly think that Kimy was going to really get into trouble that night. I guess you never expect things to go horribly wrong, before they do.


	3. Gone

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Outsiders.

I woke up and was still in that state of half sleepy-ness, and half awake-ness; you know the one.

I thought I heard voices. I heard lots of voices of different people all talking at once. They sounded very loud, but it almost seemed like they were far off.

I squinted my eyes shut and took a deep breath before looking at my clock to see that it was 5:20 am. I let out an angry groan and rolled out of bed.

My first initial thought was that the voices I heard were those of my mom and dad, yelling at one another as usual. But then I thought about and realized how early it was. Usually they were both tired of yelling and drinking at this time in the morning. Usually they were both passed out in the bedroom or living room by at least 3:00 am. I shook my head as I thought about this, and I walked toward the hallway when I started to recognize some of the voices coming from downstairs.

I know I heard Johnny. His voice sounded squeaky and pitchy; like the way it did when he got nervous or scared. Then I could hear either Pony's voice saying something. Then I heard Darry say something too. But their voices just sounded like muffled mumbles. I wasn't close enough to them to make out any of the actual words that they were saying.

But that didn't even matter. I didn't need to know what they were saying to know that something was terribly wrong. It was too early for them to be awake, let alone to be here at our house. The gang never came to Johnny's and my house; mostly because Johnny and I were too ashamed of our filthy house and unbearable parents.

I dashed for the stairs, flew down them and burst into the living room.

Johnny was sitting down on the couch, bent over with his head in his hands. He seemed to be shaking and making soft noises to himself. Darry was standing over him with his hand on Johnny's trembling shoulder. "Calm down Johnnycake. It's alright; it's alright…" Darry was trying to get Johnny to chill out, but it didn't seem to be working. He looked pretty shook.

Pony was standing over by our dirty fireplace, which was soiled with dust, dirt, and empty beer cans. He was facing the wall, and was resting against it with his forearms. Pony had his head hung down low and was taking slow, deep breaths; almost as if he was trying not to cry.

My dad was nowhere to be seen, so I guessed that he and my mom had both fallen asleep in their bedroom for once. It's a good thing I thought.

I was shocked at the scene that lay ahead of me. I didn't know what was going on, but I could feel my stomach tighten and go cold. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

When the three of them saw me come enter the living room they all looked up, and got very quite. Johnny had gone whiter than a ghost, and Pony's eyes were filled with tears that just hadn't fallen yet. Big strong Darry looked feeble and weak with fright in the dark light of my house.

I shuddered. It was awful cold for a spring-almost-summer night.

"What's going on?" I asked. Darry answered me as he took his hand off of Johnny's shoulder and offered it out to me, "Molly, come over here at sit down and…" I cut him off, "No! No, now ya'll are freaking my out! I'm not sitting down anywhere till someone tells me what's wrong!" My voice was shaking as I said it, but I didn't care. I was scared of what I was about to find out.

Pony was the one who told me. He said it in a flat, broad, and emotionless voice. "Kimys dead…She was downtown with Mark, and Brian and Angela and Curly…They were hanging out, and they got in a fight with this group of guys from the Brumly gang. They were just arguing, but some kid actually pulled out a heater. People freaked out. Kimy got shot…and now…she's…she's…"

He trailed off because he couldn't bring himself to say it again. He didn't have to. I knew. I could feel it in my stomach, and in my head, and in my heart. I knew my best friend was gone. Kimy was gone.

Kimy was gone, and I was numb. I couldn't feel anything but this insanely real pain in my heart. I might have just been imagining it, but it sure did hurt.

I stumbled over to the arm chair by the door and collapsed into it. I glanced down at my hands and saw that I was clenching them together so hard that my knuckles were white, and my palms were burning badly from the pressure of my fingernails. I didn't even know I was doing it though. Like I've said, I felt numb. I could feel the pain, but it didn't even seem to matter.

Darry stepped toward me and said, "Molly? Molly you okay?" I looked up at him, and I knew I was already crying. Our eyes met, and I was honest with him. "No," I answered, "I'm not."

All I could think about was Kimy.  
I thought about the countless nights I had spent over at her house because I couldn't stay at my own.  
I thought about all the crazy inside jokes we had.  
I thought about all the adventures we had around town together.  
I thought about how we had learned, and lost, and been there for each other since we were little kids.  
I thought about all of the late-night heart-to-heart talks we had.  
I thought about Kimy's silly sideways grin, and her absolutely beautiful personality.  
I thought about my best friend.

Kimy was gone. What was I going to do? I couldn't make it without her. She and Johnny were the two most important people in my world. I couldn't deal with not having her. Johnny was my brother and a boy. There were just some things that I can't tell him. I need Kimy.

Kimy was gone. All of a sudden, I looked up and Johnny, Pony and Darry were all standing over me. They were all clearly upset, but they looked down at me with concern. They knew I was taking this hard, but there was no way they could possibly know _how_ hard.

I asked the next most important question in my mind, "How's Two-Bit?" Darry looked at the ground and shook his head, while Pony looked away for a moment. Pony seemed to be trying very hard to hold back those tears.

Darry said, "Two-Bit? Oh, just think about how he must be taking this. Then multiply that by ten. That's about how bad he is."

I actually gasped a little bit at this. If Darry was telling the truth, then Two-Bit was probably going insane at this point. Kimy was Two-Bit's little sister, and his world. This could not be going over well. This was a disaster.

Pony said, "He's over with Steve, and Soda at his house now. The cops were still over there when we left. They're trying to get answers out of Two-Bit and his mom, but they're both so hysterical that it's not working."

I nodded in understanding. This made perfect sense. Why wouldn't the two of them be hysterical? Kimy just died. They would have to be insane to not be hysterical.

Darry said, "Yeah, all Two-Bit wants to do is go and find the guy who had the heater. He asked Pony and me to go over here and tell you two the news. After this he asked us to go and tell Dally. You three just go back to Two-Bit's place, alright? I'll find Dally and tell him, and then we'll be on our way over too."

Johnny nodded, and tugged at my arm saying, "Alright, Common Molly-Molls. Lets go get changed." I followed him up the stairs, but my mind was totally somewhere else. My mind was with Kimy, wherever she was.

Kimy was gone. What was I going to do?

I guess that in that moment, when I was told the news of Kimy's death, I didn't think it was possible for things to be worse. I was so wrong.


	4. At Kimy's House

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Outsiders.

I think when Johnny took me upstairs I was still in some newfound position of shock. I was just staring at the floorboards in front of me, and apparently I was unresponsive when Johnny spoke my name. I guess I had still been really shook then; when I wouldn't even answer my brother.

Johnny had to yank at my arm, and make me follow him into my own room. Then, when I wouldn't get any clothes out, he picked out some old jeans, and a Tulsa High School t-shirt for me to wear.

I remember he handed them to me and said very slowly so that I would understand, "Molly, put these on. I'm gonna go change, and I'll meet you downstairs. Okay?" I nodded, and then Johnny left my room, closing the white door, which was cracked at the hinges, behind him. I changed out of my pajamas like my big brother had told me to, and then I went downstairs.

Johnny and Pony were both standing by the front door, but Darry was nowhere to be seen. I don't know why it mattered to me then, but I asked, "Where's Darry?" in a blank, dead voice. Pony jabbed a thumb out into the night behind him and said, "He's already left to go get Dally over at Buck's place." I nodded, and the three of us left the house in silence.

For some reason, I lead the way to Kimy's and Two-Bit's house, with Pony and Johnny walking side by side behind me. I had walked to Kimy's house so many times, that I expect I could do it blindfolded.

I started thinking to myself if dead people could still own things. I thought to myself, "Can I still call Kimy's house Kimy's? Or would it only be right to call it Two-Bit's house, since he's alive and she's not…Kimy's not alive…" I shook my head, and forced myself to stop thinking like that.

I am a strong girl. I'd been through a whole lot in my life, and I've endured more than my fair share of pain and hurt. But all the beatings, and the scoldings, and the fights, and the abusive: none of them amounted to the sort of pain that I was feeling then. Because, through all of that suffering, I had had Kimy, by best friend, to turn to and lean on.

Now who did I have? I couldn't put all of my worries and feelings on Johnnycake. He had enough of his own, Lord knows.

That throbbing pain I felt in my heart was still going. I started to seriously wonder if I was just imagining it, but I don't guess that even mattered. It still literally hurt very badly, and it made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to just sit down on the curb next to me, and throw up, but I didn't.

My feet just kept moving me forward, like I had no control over them. I had no control over anything.

I vaguely heard Johnny and Ponyboy talking about me. Johnny said, "I don't know man. She looks really spooked. Like, I had to pick out her clothes for her! I'm worried." Pony responded, "I know it, Johnny. I think we're all pretty stunned. Poor Two-Bit…"

I stopped listening then because we were nearing Kimy's house…Two-Bit's house…whoever's house it was. I could see the flashing lights from down her street. There were two police cars parked in front. I figure all the cops were inside, talking to Two-Bit and Mrs. Matthews.

Mrs. Matthews was a really nice lady. She had the same easy-going and humorous personality of her children. But they must have gotten their hair color from their father, because, Mrs. Matthews hair was dirty blonde. Mr. Matthews had died a long time ago; I think Kimy was five when it happened.

I hated how things worked out sometimes. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis died, and they were the nicest folks I've ever met. Mr. Matthews died, and according to Mrs. Matthews, he was a really fun-loving guy. Yet, Johnny's and my parents are still alive, and half the time I'm wishing they weren't.

As we got to the front lawn, one of the officers came down off the porch and tried to keep us away. He was saying, "Look, kids, I know you were friends with Kimy, but this is a family time. We need to finish our investigation here. Ya'll just come back a little later." I wasn't saying anything, but Johnny and Pony were practically yelling at the guy to let us in.

Finally, when Mrs. Matthews came outside to see what was going on. She said, "Oh, officer, let them in! They're all friends of the family!" The cop spun around and asked Mrs. Matthews if she was sure. She looked down at him from the porch as if he was an idiot and said, "Yes, I'm sure! Come on over guys."

We briskly walked past the stubborn cop and over to Mrs. Matthews. She looked like a train wreck. She had tears running down her face, and she obviously hadn't put on make up this early in the morning, so her face looked haggard, and wrinkled. Her hair looked like she had been pulling on it in frustration, because it was all out of place, and falling in her face.

Before I could say a thing to her she pulled me to her and wrapped me up in a tight hug. She put her face on my shoulder and was crying again. I was crying too. Crying felt like a good release. I felt like I needed to cry, but it only worsened the pain in my heart.

Finally she pulled away and said, "Two-Bit…I mean Keith, is in his bedroom. I swear, it's bad when even his own mother is calling him that silly nickname. Soda and Steve are in there with him. He won't talk to anyone, and I know he'd be glad to see ya'll." Without saying another word we walked into the familiar house and made our way to Two-Bit's room, which was in the back near the kitchen.

Pony raised his hand and knocked on the door. "Go away! I've already told you I'm not talking to none of those ignorant pigs!" Johnny answered, "Shoot Two-Bit, we ain't cops. Its Pony, Molly and Johnny, man." Two-Bit cried out, "Oh thank God, You guys are here now!" He threw open his door, and we all entered the small disaster of a room.

Soda and Steve were both sitting by the closet in two straight backed chairs. They both looked stunned and sad too. There was no place where the floor wasn't utterly covered in something. Johnny and I were standing on a heap of clothes, and Pony was standing on the remains of a broken child's rocking chair.

Two-Bit was biting his lip, and running is fingers through his crazy red hair. Any other guy would have apologized about the mess of his room, but Two-Bit didn't have to. We were all so close, that we were more like family than friends. We didn't make excuses to each other. We didn't apologize.

Two-Bit looked almost as bad as his mom did. It was obvious that he had been crying. I noticed a hole in the wall near his window, that hadn't been there last week. I supposed that it was brand new; my guess was confirmed when I noticed Two-Bit's red and bleeding knuckles. I shuddered.

Two-Bit looked desperately at all of us and asked, "Do you guys know who it was?" he cursed a little bit before continuing, "Do you know which of those Brumly guys had the gun?" Pony shook his head and Johnny said, "No, we sure don't. Molly and me just now found out."

Two-Bit let out an exasperated sigh and threw himself down on his bed. He buried his hands and said quietly, "Well, I'm gonna find out who it was. And you better that I'm gonna pay him back for this. I'm gonna kill that kid who shot my baby sister."

He meant it too. In our neighborhood, you don't just walk around and say that you're gonna kill people. If you said something like that with that much conviction, you meant it.

For a second, I found myself feeling sorry for that poor Brumly kid. It was a clear fact that he didn't mean to shoot Kimy. I didn't even have to know the guy, and I know it was an accident that he killed her. Sure, we were greasers, but nobody just goes walking around shooting people, especially not girls; not beautiful headstrong girls like Kimy.

I felt bad for the Brumly kid, first off, because he had just done something awful that he didn't mean to do, and second off, because now he was going to pay for his accident with his own life. Two-Bit would make sure of that.

When Dally and Darry showed up, the rest of us were sitting on the back porch. Soda, Steve, Johnny, and Pony were all leaning up against the siding of the house, while I sat on the stairs next to Two-Bit. We were mostly sitting in silence. Everyone was too wrapped up in their own thoughts to talk.

Dally and Darry came through the backdoor and joined us. Darry looked sad, but Dally just looked pissed off. Dally came right over to Two-Bit, toughed his shoulder, and looked him in the eyes. "Two-Bit, we're gonna get that kid. Don't you even worry about it. Me and you'll take care of it just as soon as I can figure out which one of those guys had the heater." Two-Bit looked up at him thankfully. I guess Two-Bit was glad that he'd now have someone to help him kill that Brumly boy.

Everyone on the porch knew that it was true too. Dally and Two-Bit would "take care" of that poor kid as soon as someone let slip who he was.

I looked at Dally and for an instant I could see what Kimy had found so attractive about him. He could be intense and passionate. Most of the time he wasn't, and when he was it was mostly about bad things like drinking, or stealing, or fighting. But that was enough.

Dally and Kimy were both passionate and intense people. Although that intensity and passion may exist for the totally wrong things, it was still there. That's why she had loved him. I think he could have loved her too. Well, I guess we'll never find out. Kimy and Dally wouldn't even have a chance to prove the world wrong. They'd never get a shot at love together.

This thought made me sadder than ever.

Every person has a breaking point; the point where things are too rough, and too hard, and they just can't take it anymore. A person's breaking point is their lowest point. When I thought about Kimy and Dally never being together, or even getting to try being together, I thought I had reached my breaking point. But I was mistaken.

I reached my breaking point two days later...


	5. Breaking Point

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Outsiders.

Two days later:

Kimy's funeral was scheduled for three days after she was shot. It was to be on a Monday. Kimy and I always hated Mondays, but I was definitely dreading this day more than ever.

I sat on my bed, with my knees drawn up to my chest, and my arms wrapped around them. I rested my head down on my knees, and stared blankly at my bedroom wall. I heard Johnny coming in, but I didn't even care to look up.

These past two days have been the longest and hardest of my life. Kimy was such a big part of my life, that I just had trouble functioning without her. I saw her basically everyday. Without her, I just felt alone and very bored.

Johnny cleared his throat, so I looked up at him. He sighed and sat down next to me. He said, "Molly-girl, do you know what you're wearing tomorrow; you know, to the funeral?" I shrugged and said, "Oh, I'm not sure yet. You know, I don't really have a whole lot of nice black clothes." Johnny shrugged and answered, "Yeah, I know; me neither."

We sat for a while longer together, just talking about stupid trivial things to pass the time. At last Johnny convinced me to accompany him over to the Curtis house and hang out with the gang for a while.

I didn't really want to, but I've always had a hard time saying no to Johnny.

I almost felt weird when I hung out with the gang and Kimy wasn't there. I didn't like being the only girl there. It was awkward. "Oh great," I thought to myself, "another thing I can't do without Kimy."

As we walked over to the Curtis house I looked at my brother; actually looked at him. I'm not really good with words, and I normally never get too emotional but I just couldn't help it. I needed to tell Johnny something. I said, "Hey Johnny, umm… look, I love you okay. I know I've said it before, but I really do mean it. And now, you're all I've got left, so…umm…yeah, I just wanted you to know."

Johnny seemed rather taken aback. He wasn't used to talking about feelings with me, or anyone for that matter. He was quite for a moment, and then he said, "Yeah, I know Molly." I hadn't really expected him to say 'I love you' back. He didn't need too. All I wanted to know was that he understood me. He did, and I was satisfied with that.

Once we got to the Curtis house, everyone was already there, and sitting around the living room as always. As we entered, everybody turned to see who it was, then went back to watch Mickey Mouse. Soda and Two-Bit scooted down on the couch to make room for the both of us.

We sat, and there was some casual conversation going about the room for a while. Nothing serious was being discussed until I brought it up. I turned to Two-Bit, who was sitting next to me, and said quietly, "Have you and Dally found him yet?" Two-Bit stared at me seriously, and I could see Dally stiffen from across the room.

He said softly, "After it happened, all of the Brumly guys jetted. Mark and Brian and Angela can't give a real good description of the guy cause it was dark, so the cops don't know who it is yet. But I think we might have a lead. Some punk kid over at the Dingo was mouthing off about how it was his big brother who shot the red headed girl down there. We're gonna find him. Don't you worry about it." I shrugged and said honestly, "I'm not worried about it." "Good." Dally said from his regular armchair next to the TV.

I sighed and went back to watching the show. Everybody was so tense, and I felt so weird. After a little while I slapped my legs, and groaned as I stood. I announced to everyone, "Okay guys, I'm gonna go for a walk. See ya'll tomorrow."

As I passed Johnny I said, "I won't be home late, alright?" Johnny nodded, and everyone mumbled 'goodbyes' as I left the house. I walked along the sidewalk and eventually decided that I would go the park and hang out there a little while before going home.

I brought my arm up to my face and saw on my watch that it was 6:25. I'd have to be home before 10:00 at the latest or Johnny would start freaking out. "He can get so high-strung when it comes to me," I thought to myself, "I'll bet he's worrying about me right now, and it's not even dark yet. I guess that's what big brothers are supposed to be like, but I'm not so sure that I like it. I like knowing that he's always got my back, but sometimes Johnny will just get so worked up about stuff. Oh well, that's just his duty I guess. I know Two-Bit was just as, if not even more protective over Kimy."

I started to think about Kimy again. I started to realize that I'll have to find a new friend. I'd already decided that I'll never have another best friend. Most people are lucky to have a good friend in their whole lives. I'd had a best friend, which made me one of the luckiest people on earth. I wasn't out to get another one. Kimy was the only best friend I could ever have, so there was no point in trying to do the impossible and replace her.

However I figured I could find another friend that is a girl. I'd need one, and that was for sure. I thought to myself, "Kimy was always the jealous type. I wonder if she can see me right now. Shoot, I know she'll be really mad when I start being friends with other girls. But she'll understand."

Kimy always had a way of understanding me, no matter what I was saying or thinking. She just got me, and I got her. Thinking like this started to make that throbbing pain in my heart return. I actually placed my hand over my heart and whispered out loud, "It hurts, Kimy."

I wasn't expecting and answer, but I sure was hoping for one. Kimy never answered me that night, but I guess that's alright. I figure that the living and the dead ain't really supposed to talk, so I'm okay with Kimy not ever answering me when I try and talk to her. But that doesn't ever stop me from trying.

I had just been walking around the park's nature trail, just like I had been doing with Kimy a couple of days ago. That seemed like such a long time ago, but it was actually only a few days ago. I couldn't believe that.

The sky began to get dark, so I started my way home. It was pretty windy out that night, but I didn't mind. I liked the wind. I could imagine that the wind was all the spirits of the recently departed souls, swirling through the earth one last time before they left for heaven. I spread my arms out wide, and imagined that the wind around me now was Kimy's spirit-soul. I knew I was just being silly, but for a moment, I could actually believe it.

Thanks to another watch-check, I knew that I arrived home at about 8:30. As I approached my house I could already hear the shouting. I sighed and shook my head. It sounded as if my parents were at it again. I silently prayed to God that Johnny was already home, so I wouldn't have to face them alone. In my fragile state, I didn't think I was up to taking on the two of them alone.

I entered through my broken front door, and immediately learned that my pervious assumption was correct. My mom was in the kitchen, shouting insults at my dad like, 'fat useless pig' or even 'good-for-nothing drunk'. As if she was one to talk.

Dad was in the living room, sitting on the couch. For some idiotic reason he had a beer in one hand, and a bottle of whiskey in the other. He was cursing at my mom, and insulting her right back, in the same manner that she was.

I held my breath as desperately tried to walk past the crossing of the living room and kitchen hallway without being noticed. However, inevitably, I was seen by both parents. My dad started first, "Hey girl! What in Christ's name are you doing coming in my house so late?" I looked over and him and said, "Its not late."

I started toward the stairs, but was stopped when a pillow hit me in the back. It didn't hurt, but it just scared me pretty bad. My dad yelled, "Don't you talk back to me you brat! You come here; I'm gonna teach you a lesson!" I turned to see my dad coming at me, and whipping his belt off of his jeans.

I made a brake for the stairs, but I was too slow. I felt the belt crash into me on the arm, and I winced away in pain. My dad drew backward for another swing, but was stopped as Johnny came flying out of the dining room. He grabbed the belt and yanked it away from my dad while crying out, "Stop it! She didn't do anything! Hit me all you want, but don't touch her! She didn't do anything!"

My dad angrily turned on my brother and said, "That can be arranged you stupid boy!" My dad threw Johnny against the wall, and then backhanded him when he started to get up. Johnny gasped in pain, but was stopped again from getting up, as my dad dropkicked him in the stomach. My mom screamed something from the kitchen about us needing to shut up. My dad then pulled Johnny up from the floor and slammed him up against the wall again.

Then he did something that he had never done before. Sure, my dad had hurt us pretty bad over the years, but he never took it to this level. My dad wrapped his hands around my brother's neck, and started shaking him back and forth. He was choking my brother. He was trying to kill my Johnny.

I had had enough. All I could think was, "He's killing Johnny. Johnny is all I have left." I wasn't about to lose him too. What I did next wasn't a mistake. I meant to do it.

I ran into the kitchen and threw open a drawer. I ended up actually yanking the thing out of the counter and it hit the floor with a crash. My mom pushed me form behind and cursed at me for being so clumsy and making a mess. But I wasn't listening to her. I bent to the floor on my knees and grabbed what I wanted. I then scrambled back to my feet, and rushed back into the living room.

My breaking point: Stabbing my dad in his side with a kitchen knife.

I had to do it. He was killing my brother. He had hurt us so much. He was going to stop now. I made sure of that. I was tired of seeing my brother hurt. I was tired of hurting.

My dad fell over and grabbed at his side, which was wet, and stained with blood. Johnny slid down the wall at to the ground. He reached up to his neck as he gasped for breath. I dropped the knife and collapsed down to the ground next to my brother.

I pulled his head up into my lap and pushed his bangs out of his eyes. I was crying again when I saw the marks on his neck from my dad's hands. Johnny was at least breathing again, but only in huge gasps. He was shaking form head to toe, but he was going to be alright.

I wasn't so sure about my dad though. He lay unmoving on his side. I didn't care though. I hated my dad. I hated my mom. The only person I cared about in that moment was my brother.

Johnny said softly to me, "Good timing. Thank you Molly." I half laughed, half snorted. But before I could say anything he said, "I love you too, little sister." By then I was laughing, and sobbing, and shaking all at once. I pulled Johnny close to me. I hugged my brother there on the ground, and we shared one last peaceful moment before my mom burst into the living room, and screamed.

This is what a rough life had driven me to.

This is what happens when a person reaches their breaking point.

This is what happens when life gets too hard.

**THE END**

Author's Note: I'd like to thank all those of you who left comments on this story! They are greatly appreciated and always excite me :) I know the ending of this stort was rather abrupt, and I'm sorry for that. Please leave more comments and tell me ways to impvore my writing, or just tell me what you thought of the story! Thank you so much, and I hope you all enjoyed. Check out my other stories if you want.


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